MORE Thank You's

Here, for your enjoyment, are some of the Thank Yous that were shared. We received so many and wanted to pass them on as much as we could.  

If you received something in the mail and you want to thank your helper, post a comment on this post or on past Thank You posts. You can thank the family who helped you anonymously. We totally understand that many of you don't want to say thanks in public on Facebook. But read on, and know any show of gratitude means the world.

Also, if you emailed us your thank you note, please know that as much as we loved reading it - we were not able to pass on your email to the woman who helped you (there were just too many emails). 

Thank you. xoxox
Lydia, Kate, & Guru

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"On Friday I came home from work in a horrible emotional state. The news from Connecticut was overwhelming. I was so sad for those who would never see their child laughing again. I noticed a package sitting by my front door. It was from Virginia, and I was confused. I was so surprised to find several presents inside for both my son and myself. I needed a "pick me up" desperately so I opened one present. It was a simple bracelet with a horseshoe charm. I cried (and cried and cried and cried). I now wear the bracelet every day to remind myself that even those things are hard right now, I am EXTREMELY LUCKY for what I do have. Thank you Michelle (and Nicholas & Graham). I can't wait for my son to open the presents you sent plus the ones I was able to purchase with your generous gift card."

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This is about the 3959372th time I have tried to send you fine ladies a message to let you know how much Give It Up Mommyland has affected my family. There are no words to explain how freaking amazing you all are. I've done the ugly cry every time I have looked at my Christmas tree and seem the presents you have helped me get my kids. And the fridge that now has milk. We were so broke before getting the gift cards in the mail I honestly didn't know how we would make it until payday. You all amaze me. Thank you! Just thank you. You are amazing. Every single one of you out there in Mommyland is absolutely freaking amazing. I love you all.
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Because my family is on here & they don't know how bad things are, please don't include my name if you post this. You ladies for making this possible! Thank you!!

Because things just keep getting better this year....My husband just had surgery. What was supposed to be a quick in-and-out thing turned into heart fluctuations & 4 days in the hospital. Thankfully, he is home now & recovering.

Then I checked my mail. Tucked in under my very threatening electric bill was a card postmarked from Baltimore. Jenny Knoepfle made my day amazing. The gift from her family to mine brought me to tears. I will be able to get my 3 year old the one and only thing she's been asking for - Hungry hungry hippos. I can get the baby her first stocking and a fun present. My sad, empty tree will have presents under it now.

Jenny - you didn't include your return address, so I can't send you a card. You have a beautiful family and a beautiful heart. I can't thank you enough! I hope to do for another family what you did for mine one day. Thank you!

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What do you say when thank you doesn't cut it? When someone who doesn't and will never know you, steps in and helps? Especially when that person asks to remain anonymous. You say thank you to the people that brought that gift to you. So thank you ladies, thank you so very much. Sorry as I am to say it, I'm too embarrassed to post this on the pages wall. No one wants to say they can't give their kids Christmas... but this year, I can tell my angels that Santa won't forget them. And that it because of the you guys, and the wonderful woman who has helped us.

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Good Morning,
I wanted to share my joy this morning and say thank you to MommyLand and to the match that you made for me.

I have been at the end of my rope for a while now. This weekend was yet another shove towards the edge of the cliff. I found out Friday night that my electricity would be shut off tomorrow if I could not pay $90. Panicked all weekend about how and where I was going to get money to pay this. I have about 40 bucks to my name and have not been able to get any gifts for my daughters yet because of having to pay the little things like rent, car insurance among others. Just cried and cried last night because I have never been in this rock bottom place where I could not even get one thing for Christmas for them. Ran around this AM trying to get the electric squared away, thankfully they would take a partial payment to keep the shut off from happening, so now I have $3 to my name but the lights stay on. I was feeling defeated and like well a shitty mom, I get a knock in the door and it is the FedX guy with an envelope. I opened it and there was a gift card inside for $40 from Debbie F. at an APO AE address. I cried right there in my open front door, Debbie you are an Angel, you have made it possible to get my girls Christmas gifts. You are either serving our country or the spouse of someone who is and that is more than enough for anyone to ask and you decided to be an Angel for someone. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, I hope someday I can bring the kind of joy to someone that you have given me today.

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 I don't often cry... But right now I'm ugly crying... We just received a gift certificate to walmart, and STARBUCKS!! My children will have a good Christmas thanks to you Mrs.Claus my husband and I can go on a coffee date! I know that a coffee date doesn't sound like much, however when things are tight and they have been for over a year now, you don't get dates. We have a special needs son so anything we might have extra goes to his needs... I want to thank you and the wonderful ladies of Rants From Mommyland for this awesome precious gift. Without this there would have been nothing under the tree. If I could hug all of you right now I would! Thanks again for an amazing Christmas.
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You guys have made me ugly cry today. Really, you have. Today, two more gift cards arrived in the post. I can't even tell you how grateful I am for people's generosity. Not only does my little boy have presents to open for Christmas, he has some warm winter clothes too, instead of having to go round looking twice his weight because he's wearing a trillion layers of summer clothes. And a HUGE pack of nappies which means I have to panic less over January. And this might sound really personal, but stuff it - Lydia tells us about her boobstains all the time, right?

So I went to the store and bought my little boy some books and toys and warm snuggly winter clothes and nappies. It's been a while since my trolley looked so full! And I found I had about £5 left. And my period started today and as you can imagine, I feel pretty damn crappy. And we've had no money in like, forever, so I've been buying store brand pads - you know, the ones that feel like you're wearing a mattress down there? Stuffed with HAY. So anyway, with the money left I bought - some tampax, shower gel, and painkillers.

See, this is what mummies are giving each other this Christmas. It's not just about being able to buy toys for the little ones, although that's totally amazing. But it's about the dignity too. Dignity of knowing you could give something to your kids. And for me, the dignity of just. feeling. comfortable. Knowing I could feel - well, good, instead of uncomfortable and messy and bleurgh - just made me walk a little taller today.

Thank you to you guys, and too all the mummies involved. There are not enough words.

Priceless.

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Hi and Merry Christmas!!

I just wanted to stop by and share my gratitude. With Christmas just a week away it was getting harder and harder to look my children in the face. They have such hopes for Christmas. The stress was starting to feel like the weight of the world on this mama's shoulders. Well, today I went out to check the mail and among all the junk mail and bills was an envelope from Target. With this mama's name on it. Why am I getting something from Target? Well, I get inside and open it to find a gift card (which also doubles as a cool toy for the little one) for me to get things for my kids. I broke down, right then and there and ugly cried. Cried in joy. Cried in relief. There will be gifts under our tree!!

I can't thank you wonderful ladies enough for setting all of this up. And to Jessi Eads, wherever you are, THANK YOU so much. Your generosity will allow me to see smiles on my kids faces Christmas morning instead of frowns! I hope to be on the giving side of this next year. Thank you again! So so much!

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Good morning Lydia, Kate, and Guru Louise! It has taken me a couple of days to write this, but I wanted to share my story. Friday morning I awoke to the wonderful sound of someone barfing. When I ran down the stairs I discovered that it wasn't one of my boys, but, rather, my husband (food poisoning...hooray!). My husband who drives the kids to and from school everyday since he has been unable to find work after getting laid off 20 months ago. My husband who essentially runs the show while I go to work 40+ hours a week (and we need every one of those 40+ hours since I am the only income!). Oh. Crap. I quickly deduced that I would need to get the kids ready for school and take them to their respective locations, which would make me about 2 hours late to work. So, I did. Then I got to work and about 30 minutes in, heard the horrible news coming out of Newtown, CT. So then I couldn't stop crying and it took every ounce of willpower I had not to go get my kids from their schools. I called hubby around noon and it turns out he was still barfing and definitely would need me to pick the kids up from school. At which point I realized I didn't have the appropriate pick-up forms for the kids. Drove across town to get them and ask poor Barfman what kind of Gatorade he wanted, back to work to work two more hours, and then back across town to start getting the kids from their schools. By the time I made it home at 5:30, I was completely exhausted. I have no idea how single parents do it all. I sent my oldest to get the mail and there in his cute little 6-year-old hands, was a card from Sarah Kramer in Indianapolis. Not just a card, but Visa gift cards because she knew I could shop anywhere with them. And a wonderful message that she was sending us thoughts, prayers, and energy for a better 2013. At which point I started the ugly crying. I had been doing ok since getting my babies from school, but at that point I just lost it. On a day when so much wrong had happened in our country, a little glimmer of hope and love came through. And now my kids can have some presents under the tree. I was grateful to help last year and I am extra grateful for the help this year. Thank you Sarah Kramer, and thank you Lydia, Kate, and Guru Louise! I am off to WalMart to search for a few toys now that Barfman is back to normal.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2012

Yes, Virginia. There Is A Santa Claus

Last year, I wrote about how I happened to be in my magic special place -- Target -- and saw a mom using one of our Helping Hooker gift cards to make Christmas happen for her family. As you all well know, I think Target is magical and amazing things happen there and most importantly, they have themed Sharpies. Hello '80's GLAM! They're all turquoise and shimmery and eyeshadow-y colors that haven't been seen since Adam Ant. Because that man can ROCK blue-on-purple eyeshadow.

It was crazy and surreal and despite my being really cynical about if we could actually convince women to send gift cards and letters and presents to complete strangers, it all seemed to happen. And Lydia totally enjoyed doing her happy dance and saying how all people are good and want to be kind and helpful.

And so this year, we were like "LET'S DO IT AGAIN! But less porny. And with more sleep and less cursing.

And we TOTALLY succeeded in the less porniness and more sleeping and possibly less cursing with the exception of the e-mail thinking we were actual digital hookers and kept sending the vice squad after us to lock us down for a couple hours. But we won, not because of any super skillzzzz but because I'm pretty sure the internet just got tired of supervising us. 

But...we also learned this past week, in one of those bone-jarring heart-wrenching kind of ways, that not all people are good, and despite kind and helpful strangers, bad prevailed over good in Connecticut. I mention this for two very important reasons. One, because of the nature of my job, I -- sometimes fantastically and sometimes tragically -- have a front row to these kind of events. All day on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, I spent my waking hours in the tragic front row, trying to make sense of what happened for myself, and then through your TVs all over America and around the world, trying to help you all make sense of the same thing.

When I got home from a very long Friday, Happy greeted me at the door. "Daddy said you maybe had a bad day at work and needed a hug." And then wrapped those monkey arms around my neck and my head and held on. [Editor's Note: Really, they're quite long...he can scratch the back of his own knees. While standing straight up. - Kate]

Late on Sunday, I sat down at the computer to get through some emails and pay attention to everything that I had neglected the previous three days. And that's when I found all of you...

There were letters in our inbox, and messages to our Facebook account, and posts on our Wall. There were notes saying not only thank you to angels who had sent cards, but messages from moms who had read the thank you that was intended for them. They all started the same -- thanking Lydia and Guru and me. But really, it's me who needs to thank you.

Thank you for pulling me back from the edge, when sadness and sorrow and heartache seem to fill the room like Dementors, making everything cold and dark. Thank you for showing me that even if this year was no better than last year, you wanted to give back this time because you got something last year. Thank you to the moms who gave from addresses that include the letters APO. Thank to you that mom who wrote and said "I got TWO amazing gift cards. Is it OK if I share one?" Thank you for sharing with us the pictures of sweet, happy children with missing teeth and messy hair who will wrap their monkey arms around their mommies on Christmas morning, still knowing Santa is as magical and wonderful as he was last year.

The New York Sun said in an 1897 letter to a little girl named Virginia that Santa Claus existed "as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus...Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus...Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world." 

We may not see a man in a red velour suit (shut up, Randy) but Santa most certainly exists. He may be called Sinter Klaus, and Saint Nicholas and Kris Kringle. But he's also called Sarah in California, and Megan in Pennsylvania, and Rebekah and Rebeccah and Rebecca. Around here we know Santa as Barbara in Arkansas and Lauren in Virginia and Linda in Vermont. You're the reason magic still exists, that cookies and milk get put on the fireplace before bed, and that children listened for jingle bells in the middle of the night. You made Christmas. 

Thank you for being an unseen wonder.

xoxo Kate



P.S. But truly, the best part? When you guys inadvertently wrote porny stuff like this:

• "...and I can't wait to be a hooker next year!"
• "...couldn't do it this year, but please count me in as one of your Hookers next year!"
• "Next year I'm going to be giving out the hooker love. Wait. What?"
• "...and my husband said hopefully I can be a hooker next Christmas..."
• "Get me some thigh-high boots and purple eyeshadow girls! We'll be hooking it up next year too!"

And you know that that means, right? Shoe shopping! As for the purple eyeshadow, I have just the right Sharpie for that. 



(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2012

Thank Yous - We're All Connected Edition

Here, for your enjoyment, are some of the Thank Yous that you guys earned. Today's notes illustrate just how the universe works in mysterious ways. We are all connected!!!

If you received something in the mail and you want to thank your helper, post a comment on this post. We understand that many of you are unwilling to say thanks in public on Facebook. But read on, and know any show of gratitude means the world.

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Hi again ladies,

I know you are (hopefully) up to your eyeballs in emails, but I had to share... I couldn't believe my eyes on addresses you gals sent me (Bloomingdale, IN and Hilsborough, NJ). You see, I graduated from Bloomingdale High School, in Hillsborough County, FL! Since I'm fairly certain you're not stalking me, there's no way you could've known that! Anyway, it gives me goosebumps every time I read it. :) Proof positive that somebody "up there" thinks that this project is worth doing!!!

Keep it up ladies,

C

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Lydia and Kate!!!

I just have to let you know what happened to our family in regards to your exchange!!!! I'm in awe! Last year our family was in need, but I didn't ask for help because although we could have used the help, we were able to get through on our own, and I knew there were so many more in need than us. So I watched your experiment unfold and touch so many lives! I wanted to be a part of it all!

Over the last year our situation has improved with a new job for both my husband and myself. I saved a few dollars here and there so I could be a giver this year! Things are still tight, but we are good. And so with my $100 in hand I got a Walmart gift card for my match. My husband was skeptical to give so much money to a stranger, trusting that they needed it more than us, but I put my faith in God, and mailed it!

Yesterday a distant family member who has never given us anything but best wishes for Christmas, felt the need to give us a gift. A card with 100$ gift card to Walmart! God is amazing! And you are helping do His work here in earth! Thank you for letting me be a part if these miracles!!!

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Dear Kate and Lydia, 

Today has been a wonderful day... I thought I had cracked my tooth really badly, and had to make an appointment to get in to see what happened. I was in a lot of pain, and was afraid they were going to have to pull the tooth and I knew we couldn't afford an implant. I also didn't know how I was going to pay for it. I was up all night thinking the worst and praying that it wouldn't be too much money. Well, I got to the dentist, and I had just lost a filling. I have a little nerve damage, so hopefully that will heal. Anyway, I got up to the counter to pay, and I had a credit of $40, so I didn't owe anything. I HAVE NEVER HAD A CREDIT BEFORE EVER! So I cried lots of ugly tears on the way to pick up my sweet little girl, thanking God for providing. 

Then, I got home and there was a package in the mail! I received a gift card for $40 which is going to buy quite a bit for our daughter, and a kids movie (YAY!!!) and some candy for stocking stuffers. She also sent some lip balm (which I always seem to need) and I don't know how she knew I needed mascara, but she sent mascara. I've been putting off buying mascara because we needed other things like food, and I have been scraping and trying to get the last bit out of mine. So needless to say, lots more ugly crying. Thank you Kelley for your kindness and caring package. You are truly a God send! We will never forget it, and I hope that one day I can do this for another struggling family. Thank you Kate and Lydia for putting this all together. You guys are amazing, caring women that can make me laugh and and cry at the same time.

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Dear Ladies,
I had to share with you this crazy, awesome story that happened today.  I know that you'll love it because it is Christmas magic and totally why we do this.  I got the name of a Mama who needs help through Give it up Mommyland.  I went to Target and bought her a $50 gift card and mailed it today.  My son is a freshman in high school and had his phone stolen last fall & the kids who did it were caught and I was told that I would be receiving partial/full restitution for the phone.  My son came home from school and gave me (drum roll please....) a $50 bill from one of the kids as a first payment!  Awesome to get that money back, but I think that God may have been sending me a message and I've got to go out and do more good with it.  Thanks for the other ideas - I'll be heading to WalMart to pay off a lay away.  :-)

Thanks again for setting this up and helping so many ladies.  It was a great surprise for me to get today too!

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Hookers,
I want to tell you about something neat and almost unbelievable that happened regarding the exchange. I noticed a few days ago that I needed a new sponge, ours was gross and smelly and unusable. While getting a few things at walmart yesterday I grabbed a pack of sponges but had to put it back at the checkout because I didn’t have enough. Today I checked the mail and saw that I got a package. Inside was a clutch purse, a gift card to walmart, AND A PACK OF SPONGES! I could not believe it. A card explained that they had gone to get sponges because they ran out and her son suggested they include some sponges in the package and that every household needed sponges. I am still in shock! Thank you for organizing the exchange and thank you to Amy and her family for the sponges and for allowing me to put some Christmas gifts under the tree this year!

I don't know how someone knew I wanted help but was too afraid that my problems were too small to ask. So many need so much more than I do. But I somehow received a gift card from a Helping Hooker. I was able to get a new headlight for my car. Thank you Ladies. I can't wait until its my turn to be a Helping Hooker. Thank you for all you do.


(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2012

The Thank You Post

The Give It Up gift card exchange extravaganza has been over for about a week. This meant that we all woke up last Thursday and were collectively like, "Oooooh CRAP. Christmas is in like TEN DAYS. And we have done nothing to get ready. Crappity crap crap." Except we didn't use the word "crap".

It also meant that a few days ago people who asked for help started to get their gift cards in the mail. And some of them have written Thank Yous to our Inbox. We have shared some on our Facebook page and others we've just passed back and forth between the three of us. We have read every single one and each time our hearts have swelled to ten times their normal size. And Lydia ugly cries.

So here, for your enjoyment, are some of the Thank Yous that you guys earned. We'll be posting more as the week goes on. Please know that each time we read one of these we just think of you, our readers, our community of generous, thoughtful, gorgeous people, and we remember how much good there really is in this world.

If you received something in the mail and you want to thank your helper, add a comment on this post. We understand that many of you are unwilling to say thanks in public on Facebook. But read on, and know any show of gratitude means the world.

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Hello Ladies,
So i get up this morning not feeling good at all.. My daughter goes out to the mail box and comes in with hospital bills and other mail, she looks at me and asked " momma who in the world is Jessica from Nashville TN. I said who? I dont know anyone from TN.. I opened the letter to find a beautiful christmas card with the most beautiful greetings ever with a little note that said " Merry Christmas! And I hope this helps,  Jessica " with a gift card from Target for $200.00. All I could do was drop to my knees and cry and thank her and God for this blessing so that my 2 girls would have a christmas.. we don't even have a tree And with this my children will be able to have Christmas ... Thank you ladies for all you have done and all that you do to help bring Joy to the world... and to Jessica in Nashville TN, you have no idea what this means to me and my girls, you are truly and Angel and thank you from the bottom for my heart!

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Hello Ladies!
So last night I get home from a crappy day at work at 11:30. I walk in and put my stuff on the kitchen counter and see the dishes piled in the sink, the dirty pots still sitting on the stove and apparently someone spilled juice because all of a sudden my feet were stuck to the floor. After a little bit of cursing and getting my feet unstuck, I see the mail on the counter. On top of the pile was an envelope with a return address of Virginia and I'm all like, who do I know in Virginia?? I open it up, and there is a photo card, a little note, and a gift card to Wal-Mart for $100 freakin dollars. I dropped to my knees and started to cry...my kids are going to have a Christmas after all! Never, ever, ever, did I expect someone that doesn't know me to send a gift of $100 to help out my children. EVER. The family that sent this amazing gift to me are just....well, there really are no words to describe how wonderful and generous and giving they are.

To Jessica, Russell, and your 3 beautiful boys, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I will never forget your kindness, generosity, and beautiful faces smiling at me. You hold a special place in my heart. Thank you for giving my children a Christmas they deserve. And a huge thank you to the awesome ladies who started this project. You will never know how much you are all appreciated and what an impact that you have all made on us. The impact that Hurricane Sandy had on us has now been trumped by the impact of total strangers.

Thank you...

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I can't begin to thank you - and the Taylor Family from MS - enough. This month has proven to be the roughest month of a really bad year, but that cheery red envelope in my mailbox on Saturday was a ray of sunshine. I'm a newly-single mom, a full time employee, and a full time student, and this year I was facing a Christmas with nothing under the tree for my little boys, who are 3 and 2. With the kind gift from the Taylor's, my boys will be unwrapping gifts on Christmas morning. It's so nice to cry happy tears for once!!

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Kate & Lydia-

Thank you. There are no other words that I can say to you. With the recent events in the world, restoring faith in humanity is vital, and your exchange has done just that for me. I received a couple of cards from TX & IA and the gift cards enclosed enabled me to get a few gifts for my family, diapers for my son and also some towels for the family that my workplace adopted for the holidays; I felt so blessed by Lindsay & Kary that I felt compelled to pay *something* forward.

With 2013, my family just may be able to get our heads far enough above water that we will be able to participate as givers instead of recipients but in either case, you can bet that I will restore someone's faith in humanity with this exchange in particular in mind.

With Hope for 2013, thank you again!! 

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I just wanted to tell you of my gift card exchange....everyday that has gone by since I sent my pleading email for help this year I had become more and more worried of how to explain to my boys why Santa didn't come this year. Then I checked my mail and found bills and more bills and a card. I ran back into my house ripped in to the card and found a target gift card. I haven't cried this hard since the days my boys were born. This is the biggest relief of my life, my children, my world, they will not be broken hearted on Christmas morning. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to this stranger who has saved my babies from heartbreak. Thank you Jodie from Beavercreek, OH.

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I just wanted to say thank you so much to Kate, Lydia, Guru Louise, and Courtney Schoenborn (the AMAZING mommy you matched me with) for making my kids Christmas AWESOME!! I just received my gift card from Courtney and it was such a blessing. My IHP's will have something under the tree this year and I can honestly tell them it's from Santa Claus!!! I wasn't sure how I was going to do Christmas this year, so I sucked up my pride and sent an E-mail asking for help and then everything went haywire for you guys. I'm sitting at work writing this and ugly crying out of gratitude for the wonderful women who try their best to make sure that as many kids as possible have something for Christmas. You guys ROCK and my DH and I are so grateful to everyone that helped us. Again, Thank you from the bottom of my heart.You make the world a better place by being a part of it and being so generous with your time and energy. Also, say thank you to your husbands, children, and pets for allowing you to be awesome mommies to the rest of us as well as them!!!

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I'm not sure there are enough words of gratitude on the English language to tell you all how much I appreciate you, but know that you guys, along with Meredith in Florida, have made all the difference in the world to me. I'm not ashamed of the fact that my family is poor in money because we are extremely blessed in so many other ways. But it is really easy to start doubting oneself as a mom when you know your kid is missing out on one of the biggest traditions in America. There was just no way we were going to be able to get anything for our 3 year old daughter until you stepped in and helped. Not only were we able to get her a gift with the gift cards Meredith sent, but we were able to help another family give their kids an awesome Christmas too. I had come home from work on Friday and stopped to check in on a friend who lives across the street with her 2 little boys. She was commenting on how stressful this time of year is, and how she was having to wrap up some of her kid's old toys so they would have something, anything, to open on Christmas. I left, checked my mail on the way in, and proceeded to bawl my eyes out at my front door. I got 2 gift cards from this amazing exchange, used one to buy my gift, and took the other to my friend so she could have that same feeling of gratitude and amazement at the kindness of others. Thank you so much for taking the time to set this up and see it through, even with all bumps in the road. Thank you to all your families who helped you and understood the countless hours you spent making this Christmas great. You ladies are wonderful, and you have my sincerest thanks, as well as those of another mom.


Happy Christmas!

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I just wanted to say a very big thank you for putting your hearts and souls (and tears and love) in to the hooker project. I received a card from someone today and it has made it possible for my two boys to have Christmas stockings this year. This is the first year that the 3 of us will be completely on our own for the holidays and we are going to have a blast! I will spare you all the drama that surrounds us right now - who wants to dwell on that anyways?? You guys are awesome and we love you!! 

Thank you!!!!!

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Hi ladies I wanted to thank you personally for hooking me up with an amazing mama. The $100 TRU gift card was more than I ever imagined. I'm able to give my kids a great Christmas and my 3 yo even asked to pick a special toy for the local toy drive! Kyla, I lost your addy but you're an amazing woman. (Please share anonymously, I'm sure Kyla knows who I am :))

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THANK YOU! I was sitting here today in tears, my daughter's birthday is next week and Christmas six days later. I was trying to figure out how to squeeze out one gift on her list and how to afford baking a cake. In the mail today I received a gift card from Karen, Kenna and Sean. I will now be able to get my little girl both Birthday and Christmas gifts. Thank you for arranging this miracle for me and I hope to pay it forward next year!

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Dearest All.
I cannot believe it. I emailed you guys about Give It Up Mommyland, not thinking you'd be able to do anything for a mummy all the way in Britain. In today's post, a giftcard arrived from the amazing Angelika. Thanks to her, and all of you, this mummy is going to be able to get some presents for her adorable son. I cannot even begin to put into words how grateful I am. Just after that, I heard that my hubby is willing to enter counselling for his alcohol issues - the best present in the world I could have got for me! I'm beginning to feel like 2013 might just be better than 2012. I really can't say thank you enough. You guys are amazing. My Christmas prayer is that I'll be able to be on the other side of things next year! xxx

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Hi Ladies,

I know you are having lots of e-mail issues with this account, so I hope you get this message.  I just want to let you know that you totally made me ugly cry the other day.

First, some background ... On Wednesday, I had just returned home from an exhausting and frustrating shopping trip to the mall with my wonderful--but very active--two year old son.  And by very active, I mean he never stops moving ever.  In this particular case, he kept sprinting out of the store where I was attempting to shop for my daughters, forcing me to abandon everything I was carrying and race after him multiple times.  Oh, and at one point, I thought my purse had been stolen.  Fortunately, we found it safe and sound, but it was a scary couple of minutes in between.  And to add to the stress, my oldest daughter turned seven yesterday (yay!), but I still had to decorate her cake, bake treats for her to take to school, and wrap her presents.  All in all, these are totally first world problems, but that didn't help my stress level right then and there.

So anyway, I get home from my shopping trip of the damned feeling completely defeated.  I go to check Facebook and right there is a Rants for Mommyland status with my name in it--literally.  You had posted a note you received from the mom I helped, and she mentioned me by name.  Now, I didn't sign up for this project to get personal name recognition.  I wanted to help a mom make sure that she could put something under the tree for her kids this Christmas.  But I was just so happy to see that she had received my card and that it really helped her out.  

As you mentioned when you started this crazy project, this is an exercise in trust.  Although we're all pretty sure when we sign up to help that our money is going to someone who really needs it, you're never 100 percent sure.  It was just so great to know how much those gift cards meant to her. I am so happy (and crying right now) that she was able to get her kids what they wanted, and warm jammies, and a treat for herself (thank you Starbucks).  My family is hardly rich, but we are pretty comfortable, and I know that there are so many families out there who can barely buy enough to eat, let alone even think about gifts for Christmas.  

So your FB post just made my day.  The stress of everything that morning and thinking about my daughter's birthday melted away.  For the rest of the day, I was on cloud nine thinking about that note.  Thanks so much for helping to make my week a little brighter.  You ladies are so awesome, and I love you a ton.

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Dear Mommyland,

Today was, well, a bad day. I had to take my husband to the hospital to be admitted for treatment. He will have to be there for a few days and he's scared. I am too. When I left, I was crying and feeling pretty horrible. I got home and checked the mail from yesterday, expecting the usual bills and junk. There was a red envelope hand addressed to me. It was from a family in Wisconsin and I literally sat in the car looking back and forth between the return address and the to address like ten times, making sure it was really for me and trying to figure out who I knew in Wisconsin. Finally I gave up and opened it and found a beautiful holiday card and a Target gift card. I was surprised, because I wasn't sure anything would come. I looked in the mailbox one more time and in the very back was ANOTHER red envelope hand addressed to me, this time from someone in South Dakota. You'd think the second time I would be less surprised, but I was actually shocked to find another beautiful card and another Target gift card! I didn't expect one, much less two! This is perfect timing. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, they finally get a little better. I'm literally crying right now, and for once its good tears. I can't wait to talk to my husband and tell him there's one less thing we have to worry about. Our kids are going to have a wonderful Christmas, thanks to the kindness of strangers.

If women ran the world, it would be a MUCH better place. Thank you so much Lydia and Kate, for creating this amazing program, thank you family in Wisconsin and family in South Dakota, for being our holiday angels, and thank you Mommyland for your honesty, acceptance, and like-minded humor. I hope I will be on the other end of this exchange in the future.

(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2012

The Bouncy House

It's two years since I originally posted this and tomorrow... I'm going back. I can't wait to see if Ricky is still there.
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As I promised in yesterday's post, the best part of the kids' birthday party extravaganza was...The Bouncy House. It starts with Ellen. She is the queen of internet bargains. I am the queen of waiting until the last minute then spending too much and having Cap’n Coupon get mad at me. So she researched where we should rent the bouncy house, what kind it should be, what price was reasonable, etc. She made all the arrangements and got us a great deal. I volunteered to pick it up and drop it off as that would save us $150. It seemed perfect – the place was only 20 minutes away, the bouncy house was perfect and affordable, and they even had cool stuff like snow cone (!) and cotton candy (!!) machines that we could rent if we wanted.

The bouncy house place was in a pretty suburban neighborhood with big houses on large, landscaped yards. I thought this is really nice. We should think about buying a house in this neighborhood. I drifted into an imaginary future world when I lived there happily with the Cap'n and kids.  But wait a minute.  How weird is it that there’s a bouncy house place on this street? Maybe it’s a cut-through to another neighborhood? Mature trees shaded the narrow, newly paved street that eventually ended in a cul-de-sac. At the very end of this suburban paradise sat a large house and a pair of gates over a gravel drive. Behind the gates I could see several brown, cement block out-buildings.

The closer I got to the house at the bottom of the cul-de-sac the more I started to think I was having an out of body experience. It looked fine until I got closer. It did not look fine. It looked creepy. Like don’t-get-out-of-the-van-creepy. The house was at once run down (overgrown grass, peeling paint, sagging roof) and fancy (pillars, a fountain). It was like a little nightmare setting peeled from Truman Capote's imagination. You could see there were very elaborate Gone with the Wind-style window treatments. Then one of the curtains twitched.

Oh dear Lord. Someone was watching us.

I swear the house looked like it was inhabited by Boo Radley’s once-wealthy cousins. Or worse. Like they had rooms in there where you didn’t want to look. Like a room full of one-eyed dolls. And this place was definitely attached to the bouncy house business, because just then I saw the sign on the gates.

My phone made a weird beep and then went dead. Then came flickering back on. Oh no…

The gates slowly opened and I caught my first glance of Ricky. He was a wiry, little man in a Miller Lite t-shirt and a pair of cut-offs, both in size extra tight. He was smiling beatifically and waving us in. My last thought as we pulled past the gates was: Please don’t let this end with a manhunt and Ellen having to come out here and kill this little man. Because she is tiny, but she is hardcore. Plus stupid Kate was in stupid Texas so she wasn't available for a rescue mission.

I pulled the van in between two of the cement block buildings and got the chills. This place looked like the backlot of the Island of Misfit Toys. Or maybe the Island of Angry, Ax-Wielding Clowns. Broken carnival rides, a snow cone machine filled with spider webs, and ancient three-legged carousel horses were interspersed between the buildings and a series of jacked-up flat beds covered in tarps. A faded sign proclaiming “Pony Rides” triggered the knowledge that this had once been a stable. Now the pony stalls looked exactly like where a serial killer in a Dora mask might stash his victims and yell: “It puts on the lotion or it gets the hose!”

I was terrified. I slowly turned around to look at my three children. They were ecstatic. And hollering: “Mom! Mommy! Mom! MOOOOOOOM! Can we get out now? Can we? Look at that! Look at that! And that! And THAT! And can we pet the dogs?!”

It was then I noticed three albino pit bulls with clipped ears and glowing pink eyes in a large cage. Pacing. Staring. Waiting.

Ricky then tapped on my window and scared the schmidt out of me.

Lydia: “GAAAAHHHH!”
Ricky: “Hey beautiful. Are you Ellen?”

Lydia: (Getting out of the car) “Ummm… Yes, yes I am.” (Kids start screaming: “NO YOU’RE NOT, MOMMY! YOU’RE NAME IS--” so I slammed the door closed to silence them.) “I’m here to pick up the medium castle slide bouncy house.”
Ricky: “You betcha! Let’s do some paperwork. It says here you might want to also rent a snow cone machine. Well, we got one right here!” (points to the one filled with spiders and brown crud).
Lydia: “Umm… No thank you.”
Ricky: “I could give you some some extra flavoring for free. Cuz you see here, we got some that’s already open.” (Points to a shelf inside the building, full of half-empty gallon jugs with peeling, yellowed labels that say "SNO-CONE JUICE." They bore Chinese writing on the bottom that I think said: "if you can read this, then know the contents of this jug is poison for capitalist swine" and beneath that it said in English: "Ingredients – candy, syrup.")
Lydia: “NO! I mean, no thank you.”

Ricky: “You betcha, Ellen. Sign here and here. You gonna need a mat to go with that?”

(Kids are pounding on the windows of the van hollering: "LET US OUT! LET US OUT! YOU’RE NOT ELLEN! LET US OUT!")

Lydia: “Yes.”
Ricky: “Large or small?”
Lydia: “Large?”

(Ricky winks and tosses a moldy square of astro-turf carpet into the back of the van. Loads an enormous, round, smelly, tarp-y thing on top of it using a fork-lift. Then ties the door shut because it won’t close. And if you were wondering if my big, white tampon of a van could ever get more disgusting and stinky? The answer is YES. Also, the entire time the kids are jumping up and down and screaming: "FORK LIFT! FORK LIFT! LET US OUT!")

Lydia: “May I have one of those extension cords?”
Ricky: “Well, I’m not supposed to. But for you… You want a long one or a short one?”
Lydia: “I want the long one.”
Ricky: “The long one is always better, but I bet you already knew that.”
Lydia: (Eyes widen in shock… Whuck?!)
Ricky: “So what are you doing later? You going to happy hour?”
Lydia: “No…No no no…” (shake head and slowly backs away toward the van. Kids are back to screaming “YOU’RE NOT ELLEN! LET US OUT!” as I jump in the van and start it up.)
Ricky: “It’s cool… and the gang. Cuz my name’s not really Ricky.”

At which point I peeled out of there like I was driving the friggin' General Lee. I tried calling Ellen but my phone was completely dead. Of course it was. When I pulled into her driveway the whole story poured out, and do you know what her reaction was? She laughed. At me. At my expense. Grabbed her little belly and rolled around on the floor like a cartoon kitty. She even snorted. Thank you, Ellen, thank you very much. We're lucky to be alive.

The next day, the bouncy house was a big success. After the party, when everyone had gone home, Ellen suggested that we have a mommies-only bounce and we kicked all the kids out.

Here’s the problem.

Let’s say you’ve had three kids and you have a full bladder and you sneeze. You know what happens next? It’s the exact same thing in a bouncy house without the sneeze. The first bounce was fun. The second bounce was unsettling. The third bounce was urgent and… Lydia’s out. Someone took a picture of all of us during the mommy-only bounce, and the Cap’n saw it and asked why we all looked so worried.

Then it was time to return the bouncy house. It took four mommies to deflate it, fold it, roll it, and tie it into a enormous ball. Meanwhile the children watched, exhausted and whiny, like they were seeing Frosty the Snowman melt away into a tragic puddle. One of them was wailing and crying about the fact that he had lost his socks. They were his favorite socks, and it was the worst day ever because he couldn’t find his special socks. The last we’d seen of those socks, they were wet and smelly and so dirty they were black on the bottom. It was all a huge sock-filled tragedy.

After shoving the deflated bouncy house into the back of the van, I started pleading with people to please, for-the-love-of-Pete, come with me to drop it off. Ellen wanted to but couldn’t leave because her husband was still in a coma. The Cap’n had all three kids, and they were acting up. That left my friend and neighbor Mimi, who rose to the occasion with aplomb: “OOOOOOHHHH yeah I want to go! I love to see freaky things!”

When we got there, Ricky was shirtless in size extra, extra tight cut-offs and riding an old bicycle in circles. When he saw us pull up, he smirked and said: “Hey girl. You came back.”

Come on, man. I’m here to return the bouncy house, not to offer myself up as a ritual killing for after happy hour. Just take it and let me get the hell out of here as fast as possible. But instead I said: “Yup.”

Then he smiled, gave Mimi the once-over, and said: “Let me pull it out for you.”

I threw up in my mouth a little, but was actually relieved when Mimi said: “It’s just like you said. This place is amazing. Can I get out and look around?” I pointed to the Silence of the Ponies stalls and she was all: “OK – we’re leaving now. Bye bye Ricky!”

And when I got home, I got the following text from Ellen:

The end.

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(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2010

Swype is the Worst Ever

Never, ever SWYPE if you're me.

I text a lot. It's convenient and non-intrusive and it's become the primary form of communication that works for me and the majority of my friends and family. Except that I have a very smart phone (it's a Samsung Galaxy) and it's apparently a lot smarter than I am. Also, it enjoys messing with me.

And now there's this new thing I can do called "swype". Basically it means you glide your finger around the touchscreen and the phone figures out what word you meant to type, as if by magic. About 90% of the time, it works perfectly and I love it and I think I have forgotten how to text the old fashioned way.

But...the other 10% of the time, I end up sending texts that are either unintelligible gibberish, vaguely pornographic or just plain old embarrassing. Here are some examples:

When "nerf guns" become "beef hound".
Lydia: My kids are out of control crack heads running around my house right now.
Kristin: Mine too. Maybe something in the air?
Lydia: I just got shot multiple times in the haunches with beef hound.
Kristin: ?
Lydia: It's a good thing beef hound don't hurt.
Kristin: OK...
Lydia: CRAP. Not beef hound. NERF GUNS.
Kristin: I am laughing so hard at you right now.
Kristin: OH DEAR GOD. Don't google image search beef hounds. Just don't. Don't don't don't. I was not expecting that.

[Editor's note: Apparently beef hounds are men who really enjoy other men. Now you know.]

I tried to text the word "f*ckers" and it changed to "giblets". 
Lydia: What happened with those people?
Kate: Nothing.
Lydia: They are giblets, man. That's not OK.
Lydia: Not giblets. DUCKERS.
Lydia: Not duckers. FACKERS.
Lydia: I give up.
Kate: Its OK. They're giblets.

Here I am, winning big lady night.

And then "Last night" somehow became "Lady Night".
Lydia: I am so tired and I forgot that I have like $30 in singles crammed in the pockets of these jeans.
Guru: What the hell? Another late night working at the club?
Lydia: Lady night was Bunco. And I won big lady night!
Guru: You won big lady night?
Lydia: What's big lady night?
Guru: I DON'T KNOW. That's why I asked you.
Lydia: GAAAAHHHH!! My ducking phone is a giblet! I meant LAST NIGHT. At Bunco. I won big at Bunco last night. Stupid phone is STUPID.
Guru: No. Not the phone.

"Okey dokey" becomes "Pokey Doherty"  
Cap'n Coupon: I have to go to Michigan on Wednesday. Is that going to be OK?
Lydia: Yes. Pokey Doherty.
Cap'n: Who is Pokey Doherty?
Lydia: What the hell are you talking about?
Cap'n: Read your text, genius.
Lydia: Oh dear. I meant OKEY DOKEY but my phone is a stupid head.
Cap'n: I don't want Pokey Doherty in the house while I'm out of town.
Lydia: Are you kidding?
Cap'n: sigh...

It's not Saturday, it's "asstray".
Guru: When are you going to go apple picking, woman?
Lydia: Oh! Asstray.
Guru: Whhhhaaaaat?
Lydia: You asked when. I said ASSTRAY.
Lydia: Oh. Not asstray. Saturday.
Lydia: I hate you phone. I hate you.
Guru: I love your phone. Never get another phone ever.

And when I tried to text: "You got it, hotstuff" it inexplicably became "You go, Gustav". Try explaining that one to your husband after the whole Pokey Doherty fiasco.
Cap'n Coupon: Hey, I'll be home early. Do you want me to take you guys out for dinner? I will even take you to Spartans.
Lydia: You go, Gustav!
Cap'n: Who is Gustav?
Lydia: Hotstuff.
Cap'n: Lydia, what are you doing?
Lydia: I meant to say YOU GIT IT, HOTSTUFF.
Lydia: Crap! YOU GOT IT, HOTSTUFF.
Cap'n: Maybe you should stick with yes or no.
Lydia: Yes.
Cap'n: And Gustav is not invited to dinner at Spartans.
Lydia: No. I mean yes.

And that's why I should never have a smart phone or send text messages.
xoxo, Lydia


(c)Herding Turtles, Inc. 2009 - 2012