Raising a Screen Smart Kid on NPR

I loved doing this interview with Dan Skinner of Kansas Public Radio!

http://kansaspublicradio.org/blog/dan-skinner/conversations-julianna-miner-raising-screen-smart-kid

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Raising A Screen Smart Kid in The New York Times

Very excited to share that "Raising a Screen Smart Kid" was mentioned in The New York Times for the second time this year! This article by the incredible Jessica Lahey (author of The Gift of Failure) is outstanding and refers readers to my ideas on cell phone contracts.

Find the article here! 

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Good Day DC Interview

Other than the fact that my hair is super weird, this is a great interview with the folks at Good Day DC (Fox 5 DC). Check it out!



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Good Kids and Dumb Choices - It's normal

"It's critical to remember that every child, no matter how smart and responsible, will make mistakes... Making mistakes and learning how to deal with the consequences of our choices are key developmental lessons all kids need to learn."

-Chapter 1, Raising a Screen Smart Kid

This post is just a quick reminder that even the best kids are going to do some really dumb stuff sometimes - it's called "growing up." It doesn't make them bad people and doesn't make you a bad parent. 

Make a mistake? Take responsibility, learn from it, move forward. Online and in-person - same rules apply. 

And for the record, we all did a ton of dumb stuff when we were kids, too. Only we weren't doing it when literally everyone around us could record and document all of our adolescent stupidity for posterity.

((Quickly crosses self and thanks baby Jesus for this, as was an enormous idiot as a teenager))

Love, Julie

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Quick Q & A: Should I let my kid start posting on Youtube?

Q: My daughter (age 9) wants to post a video of her teaching someone how to paint a picture of a chicken. It's super cute and totally appropriate, but I'm afraid of comments from trolls and wondering if she is too young to post. What do you think?

A: In all likelihood, the people who are going to be watching and sharing your 9 year old's video are going to be your friends and family. Could it go viral and garner a lot of attention? Sure! Anything is possible, but it's unlikely.

This is the year of me doing things.

You know how I said this was the year of me doing stuff? So far I have:

His scruff touched my face. Also, he's really nice
and very tall and his wife is beautiful.

• Taken ninja lessons with 5 of my friends and earned my white belt, 
• Did an ice luge shot and then rode a mechanical bull, 
• Embraced my love of inappropriate lady novels (THE LIST IS HERE AND IT'S GOT EVERYTHING)
• Went to Texas by myself to a conference and came home with several really good new friends and having briefly snuggled Jared Padelecki, 
• Wrote a second book that is wildly personal, 
• Got invited to work out w a former UFC fighter at his gym (we met at the Verizon store and we talked about his sweet fiancee and their house hunt and more on this later), 
• Mercilessly pranked my neighbors in an ongoing squirmish, and 
• I'm going to see Air Supply on Friday probably dressed in full 80's gear. 

But... there's more and I'm legit losing the very last of my shit right now. I'm supposed to be in a "Mom Squad" number at my daughter's dance recital this weekend. This dance studio is filled with literally the nicest people in the world and we've been rehearsing for a month but last week I forgot everything and now it's like I'm broken and I. Can. Not. Dance. At. All. 

Because dancing is hard and choreography is hard and coordination is hard and remembering what to do with your arms is hard and I want to quit but I can't because I am the dumbass who talked everyone into it ("This is the year we do stuff, guys!!") and now it's could be just very unfortunate for me. 

So I guess what I'm saying is that it's fun to do new things but also terrifying and being brave also means feeling totally ridiculous. 

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Welcome to summer. It's feral here. And there's a squid.

The school year is over. The transition to summer has begun. For the first time in 11 years, we're not doing summer swim. This means that instead of becoming feral, schedule-less garanimals in late July - that happens now. 

One of the Rants Fam from FB drew this
and it is the most beautiful thing in the
whole entire fucking world. 

This is occurring in combination with the inexplicable mood swings, tears, and crankypants that accompany any major transition in my house. The only thing that seems to help with this is my children and their friends eating $459 worth of groceries every 3 days. 

Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out how to work from home full time while having no discipline and a procrastination problem that if anthropomorphized would be a drunken, angry squid who likes to slap me with his slappy tentacles while also screeching Duran Duran songs off-key in my left ear. 

Oh and I have a book coming out in about a month so nothing to stress about there except being a total public failure in front of God, the internet, and everyone I know. Especially considering it's a book about kids and tech and being "screen smart" and my response to this situation is that every child in my house (currently 5) are staring at some sort of screen so I can load the dishwasher and type this. 

Just thought I'd share some realness with you in case you were feeling like you needed to compare favorably with someone who definitely does not have their shit together. You're doing better than you think and way better than me. Happy summer and I love your face today - you look well-rested and attractive.

xo, Julie

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Second Deathaversary

Today is the second deathiversary of my little brother's passing and I'm still feeling messy and ugly about it. I've decided to focus on a few things that losing him taught me.

*Grief is built to last and it shows up in really weird ways when you really don't expect it. Like a punch right in the damn face when you're at a stoplight and the wrong song comes on. It sucks but there it is.

*I will remember the best of him because he would've done that for me. 

*My sister and I will likely spend too much time for the rest of our lives wondering if something could have changed this outcome. If we had a time machine, what is the exact moment that we could go back to, make a change and create an alternate timeline where he would still be here and be ok? We know this isn't useful. We will do it anyway.

*Mental illness is made about a million times worse by self-medicating. When life is genuinely shitty, that's when you should be NOT be drinking. 

*I will love certain people harder and I will let certain people go. 

Here's a bird finger to death for taking him at 30 and to addiction and mental illness and the breast cancer that took his mom when he was too young to handle it. 

Here's an awkwardly long hug for anyone else dealing with ugly, messy, dirty grief.

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DAY 3 HOME ALONE STATUS UPDATE

I chose this photo because 90% of what I now consume now
are Annie's frozen organic burritos and microwaved coffee.

DAY THREE OF BEING HOME ALONE 

(meaning yesterday, but posting late as have lost all sense of time):

Well, it happened on day 3. I started to miss them and found myself checking the locations of their iphones. They were taking a college tour at Baylor (teenage daughter loved it) and I was getting v. emotional about all of it. Was reaching for kleenex when I received 16 texts in a row from Mini telling me that her brother had LITERALLY SPRAYED HER WITH A HOSE and WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT, MOMMY?

Nothing, sweet girl. Nothing at all. 

I'm in Virginia and you're in Texas and your dad is *right there* and I'm 1,100 miles away drinking iced coffee, eating a frozen burrito in my stretchy pants at 2pm, suddenly feeling really good about my alone time again. Thank you for that refreshing dose of perspective, my angel.

Quoted in the Sunday NYT

I'm really, really excited about being quoted twice in an article about sharing things on Facebook that will be in this Sunday's print edition of The New York Times. The piece was written by KJ Dell'Antonia whose podcast #AmWriting I am a huge fan of. 

“I have definitely seen an evolution toward sharing less,” said Julianna Miner, an adjunct professor of global and community health at George Mason University and the author of the forthcoming “Raising a Screen-Smart Kid: Embrace the Good and Avoid the Bad in the Digital Age.” She added, “It’s hard to tell if the changes are a response to the security breaches, or a result of people just getting tired of it.”

and 

“There’s plenty of evidence that interpersonal, face-to-face interactions yield a stronger neural response than anything you can do online,” said Ms. Miner. “Online empathy is worth something to us, but not as much. It takes something like six virtual hugs to equal one real hug.”

The article is here!


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Review of the After Movie - Which everyone should go see right now. Thank you.

REVIEW OF THE AFTER MOVIE BY SOMEONE WHO IS TOO TIRED TO PROOFREAD HER OWN SHIT:

I just saw the #Aftermovie and I have a lot of feelings and emotions right now. They are very real and you need to respect them even though I am an adult woman and perhaps this is not the best use of my time. 

For those of you who don't know, this movie is based on a series of YA books by Anna Todd that were originally on a story-sharing app called Watpad, where they got over a BILLION reads and were eventually snatched up by Simon & Schuster and published to enormous sales over the past five years.

Let's start with the positives: There's great casting! And gender-swapping of characters! There's more diversity! Landon, for example, is now black and is a precious, handsome, nerdy angel and Tristan is a v. hot gay girl. All good things.

Hardin and Tessa are great - thank you, baby lemur, because that could have gone either way. Tessa is exactly as I imagined her, down to the JC Penney wardrobe and pouty lips. Hardin* is perfect but for the lack of correct tattoos and piercings, which did not bother me but was EXTREMELY UPSETTING to the young super fans who were debriefing after the movie with me. 

He is also far too nice, which was very disappointing. He is supposed to be a cruel and heartless dickhead and instead, he's like a young, black t-shirt wearing Mr. Darcy, unpleasant and rude, but too hot for those things to matter very much.

Home Alone Status Update Day 2

Me today: hair jacked up, still in PJ's, no shower

Day 2 of being home alone status report: 

Yesterday I ate sushi for dinner on my couch while re-watching season 3 of Game of Thrones in stretchy pants, ponytail & no bra, as I received this advice in the comments of my FB status ("If you're wearing a bra, you're doing it wrong." --> YOU ARE ALL VERY WISE AND HAVE SO MUCH TO TEACH ME, THIS WAS 100% RIGHT). 

I also read two books by Harper Kincaid (who I know in real life and is delightful and really knows how to take flattering selfies), made many to do lists, sent emails, did research, and drank electrolyte water - all on the couch while watching GoT. 

Then I slept for 12 hours, only waking up because the dogs were like "WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K IS HAPPENING HOOMAN ARE YOU DEADS?"

I am Kevin McAllister. Day One.

My husband took our children to the great state of Texas for five days for Spring Break. I must stay here, at home, because I have to teach and work. This happens every year, the university where I teach usually has their spring break a month before my kids' rolls around. This means I'm not really able to travel and my kids sullenly accept that we are stuck at home for a week, slowly growing more and more irritated with each other because there is nothing to do. 

But this year, I am at home alone in the manner of Kevin McAllister for almost five whole days. I have lots of deadlines and work to do BUT OMG THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF.

I have a list of non-work related things I want to do:

*Read many, many trashy books and a couple of good ones
*Not cook or clean any of the things
*So many naps
*Go see the new After movie if I can find any other adults who will go with me, even if they haven't read the books
*Go to yoga
*Order take-out, repeat daily
*Watch what I want on the big TV

Texting fun with Teenagers

This morning in the group chat I have with my three kids:

Me: Kids, I'm in meetings all morning so unless its life or death, I can't respond to your texts. 

Kid: Ok

Other kids: (since does not have to do with food, money or rides, ignores message)

Kid: (during meetings) Mom mom MOM MOM MOMMMMM MOM MOM.

Mom: (thinking surely I can ignore message, as said earlier would be in meetings)

Kid: MOOOMM mom mom MOM

Mom: (growing concern and unease) What?! In a meeting!

Kid: Oh right. Nevermind.

This afternoon:

Kid: Pick me up by the smoothie place?

Mom: When?

Mom: (30 mins later) When?

Mom: (60 mins later) CHILD WHEN DO YOU NEED A RIDE?

Kid: (23 minutes later) Right now. 

Kid: (3 seconds later) How much longer?

Kid: (4 seconds later) When are you coming?

THIS IS MY LIFE TEXTING MAKES EVERYTHING SO MUCH EASIER.

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Most recent article for Washington Post

Every time I have a piece accepted by the Washington Post's OnParenting section, it's a thrill. I was especially happy about this one because I've spent the past two years researching the digital lives of our kids. This article gave me the opportunity to integrate that research with some important parenting conversations we should all be having with our tweens and teens.

I also love this piece because it's a great peek into what my upcoming book is going to be like. Have I mentioned that book?

It's called "Raising a Screen Smart Kid: Embrace the Good and Avoid the Bad in the Digital Age" and it will be published by Tarcher Perigee/Penguin Random House in late summer 2019.

Here's a link to the article! https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/parenting/wp/2018/09/06/how-to-use-eighth-grade-to-jump-start-some-important-conversations-with-your-teen/?utm_term=.0720f3242ce0

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